I hate all girls vehemently.
I wish I only lived at night.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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