Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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