She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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