You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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