I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
