so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I stole a fireplace last night.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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