when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.