Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.

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(715): Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/2g9l

Replies (28) Good night (1045) Bad night (3793) Order T-Shirt
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....

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(724): So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner.... http://tfl.nu/8twx

Replies (16) Good night (611) Bad night (3499) Order T-Shirt
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?

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(603): So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'? http://tfl.nu/2o2u

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(973): View more from New Jersey

but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days

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(973): but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days http://tfl.nu/g4qr

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(703): View more from Virginia

something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...

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(703): something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas... http://tfl.nu/emnc

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(802): View more from Vermont

every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.

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(802): every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin. http://tfl.nu/un5l

Replies (18) Good night (7925) Bad night (971)
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(716): View more from New York

You can't have your penis and eat it, too.

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(716): You can't have your penis and eat it, too. http://tfl.nu/3eoi

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(519): View more from Ontario

Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?

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(519): Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator? http://tfl.nu/y95u

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.

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(215): Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options. http://tfl.nu/xie6

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(510): View more from California

In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...

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(510): In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going... http://tfl.nu/8b0c

Replies (9) Good night (4959) Bad night (708)
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(317): View more from Indiana

We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo

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(317): We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo http://tfl.nu/qbn3

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(845): View more from New York

Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.

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(845): Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent. http://tfl.nu/xb5q

Replies (5) Good night (2060) Bad night (456) Order T-Shirt
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.

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(+44): I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/7nti

Replies (3) Good night (2287) Bad night (527)
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(812): View more from Indiana

It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.

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(812): It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind. http://tfl.nu/4evb

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(701): View more from North Dakota

Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.

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(701): Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why. http://tfl.nu/atie

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