We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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