Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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