i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
