butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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