Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
