well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
