I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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