I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
