Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
