You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
two words: eviction party
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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