i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
