I heard we made out
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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