So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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