there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You were trust falling into bushes
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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