I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
