She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
