jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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