You're completely useless in the revolution.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
