first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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