dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize