So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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