I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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