He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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