I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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