so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
