how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
