I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
