I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
