so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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