Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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