I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
