Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
