I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
