Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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