Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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