Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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