So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
