Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
