proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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