His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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