Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
