I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
