i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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