I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
