K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
