I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dicks are not precious.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
