idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
