I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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