I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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