ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
