the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
