chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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