Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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