I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
