R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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