Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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